With his explanations to the reporters completed, Dr. King felt that when he pulled the switch he would automatically restore his good name and bring to a close a career of solid scientific achievement. Most of all, he would bring to an end the practice of referring to him as "Side Effect Charlie."

Dr. Charles King was willing to admit that there were excellent reasons for his acquiring this hated nickname. The facts were that the bulk of his scientific achievements were made inadvertently—that is to say, his discoveries were all made through investigation of unexpected side effects of his experiments. In a career conspicuous for unusual, unanticipated side effects, two in particular stand out.

The first discovery resulted in rendering the entire heat-oriented metallurgical industry obsolete, and founding upon its corpse a new industry. This was based on the extracting of metal from ore and its subsequent shaping by first eliminating the bonds that hold the molecules of metal together, and then reversing the process when the desired shape was attained. Dr. King did not discover this process directly. He thought he had discovered a method of making metal surfaces self-lubricating and 100% friction free. It was not until several installations utilizing his lubrication method became pools of liquid metal that Dr. King bothered to discover how his method worked, and of course the means to reverse his process. The resulting revolution in metal-processing methods endeared him to everyone—except a few vested interests like the shareholders in existing metal companies, who were uniformly glum.

The second discovery, although monumental in itself, is important because it indirectly led to the special project which Dr. King was just completing. Dr. King succeeded in growing some crystals in a nutrient solution. What actually happened was that while eating lunch at a lab table he managed to knock something into something else and a crystal developed. Dr. King became fascinated with the odd structure of these crystals as revealed to him under an electron microscope. (He had incidentally placed the crystal under the microscope in error.) As a result, he took to investigating the properties of the crystals whenever he could find time. Despite his well earned reputation as an accidental discoverer, it should be pointed out that Dr. King is a very methodical man. This means he is capable of repeating the same mistake twice, or for that matter any number of times. Therefore, Dr. King produced all the crystals he needed.

It was during a vacation in the Adirondacks that Dr. King discovered the propulsive qualities of the crystals.

This discovery, of course, is what led to the perfection of the "King Propulsor Unit," the heart of our starship drive systems. Dr. King was investigating the piezo-electric properties of the crystals in a makeshift device of his own design when he was disturbed by a sudden draft in the room. He looked up to discover that one wall of his workshop and the top one thousand feet of a mile-thick mountain (the same mountain that his cabin was located upon) were no longer in the immediate vicinity.

As it turned out, his crude device did not impart to the mountain all of the thrust inherent in the crystal. The mountain top reached only to the orbit of Jupiter, where it settled down to become its newest satellite. Coincidental with Dr. King's experiment, intensive astronomical work was going on with Jupiter as its prime object. The capturing of the satellite was observed and recorded independently by at least six observatories, including the one on Tycho.

Subsequent investigation of the time involved to project this mass disclosed that Dr. King had invented a faster than light drive. (It should be pointed out that, while the discovery of the faster than light drive made the name of Dr. King world renowned, it did not in any way endear him to the relatives of those thousand-odd persons who lived in the hamlet located on the mountain top that ended up a satellite of Jupiter. They also were quite glum.)

Further work, all of a mathematical nature, disclosed to Dr. King the proper method of enclosing these crystals in a unit to drive space ships to the stars. Coincidental with his work on the propulsor units he made a startling discovery which led to his special project.

Dr. King invented perpetual motion.

A series of complicated equations indicated to Dr. King that if he enclosed six of the crystals in the business end of a pendulum, and started the pendulum oscillating, it would tick-tock for all eternity.

This discovery began a five-year program that ended with a full scale press conference. The purpose was to unveil the building designed to protect this pendulum for all eternity, and of course to unveil the discovery of perpetual motion at the same time.

This building was designed to be Dr. King's monument to his own genius. It was a large rambling structure in which the pendulum was displayed by viewing it through a large hole in a brick wall. All of Dr. King's considerable savings had gone into designing a computer, the heart of his protective system. The computer was programmed to protect the ticking of the pendulum under every conceivable circumstance. So thorough was this programming that special devices were installed to keep the building and its precious cargo moving in earth's projected orbit if, through some gigantic mishap, the earth was reduced to cosmic dust. The switch that would impart the initial pulse to the pendulum would also start the computer operating, rendering the entire structure totally inviolable.

With a flourish, Dr. King pulled the switch.

Nothing happened.

There was an embarrassed shuffling of feet by the reporters. Then, as Dr. King became more exasperated, the reporters became amused. The amusement turned to open laughter when Dr. King, frantic with fear, rushed to the door to check the wiring on the inside of the building.

The door would not open. The computer was at work guarding a nonfunctioning machine.

He rushed to the open hole in the wall, intending to provide the initial pulse necessary to start the pendulum swinging by pushing. He found that the computer had designed a force field to keep him from entering. Frustrated and at his wit's end, he flew into a rage which ended in a fatal heart attack when he heard one reporter laughingly say to him: "Don't let it get you down, Doctor. You've beat the jinx. In one step you've gone from 'Side-Effect-Charlie' to 'No-Effect-Charlie.'"

It would be comforting to be able to assure everyone that the reporter in question was correct. Unfortunately Dr. King's monument did work, and probably will work for all eternity. The day after Dr. Charles King had his unfortunate heart attack a homesick astronomer on Sirius reported to his superior, and subsequently to the entire populated universe, that when he turned his telescope on the Solar System he discovered that it had acquired a new motion.

The entire system swung back and forth like a pendulum.