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Title: The Tale of the Pie and the Patty Pan

Author: Beatrix Potter

Release date: March 2, 2005 [eBook #15234]
                Most recently updated: December 14, 2020

Language: English

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Produced by Robert Cicconetti, Ronald Holder and the PG Online
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[Illustration: BUTTER AND MILK FROM THE FARM]


THE TALE OF

THE PIE AND
THE PATTY-PAN

BY
BEATRIX POTTER

_Author of_
_"The Tale of Peter Rabbit," &c._

_Pussy-cat sits by the fire--how should she be fair?_
_In walks the little dog--says "Pussy are you there?_
_How do you do Mistress Pussy? Mistress Pussy, how do you do?"_
_"I thank you kindly, little dog. I fare as well as you!"_

                                         _Old Rhyme._

FREDERICK WARNE




[Illustration]

FREDERICK WARNE

Penguin Books Ltd, Harmondsworth, Middlesex, England
Viking Penguin Inc., 40 West 23rd Street, New York, New York 10010, U.S.A.
Penguin Books Australia Ltd, Ringwood, Victoria, Australia
Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 2801 John Street, Markham, Ontario,
  Canada L3R 1B4
Penguin Books (N.Z.) Ltd, 182-190 Wairau Road, Auckland 10, New Zealand

First published 1905
This impression 1985

Printed and bound in Great Britain by
William Clowes Limited, Beccles and London




[Illustration]

Once upon a time there was a Pussy-cat called Ribby, who invited a
little dog called Duchess, to tea.

"Come in good time, my dear Duchess," said Ribby's letter, "and we
will have something so very nice. I am baking it in a pie-dish--a
pie-dish with a pink rim. You never tasted anything so good! And _you_
shall eat it all! _I_ will eat muffins, my dear Duchess!" wrote
Ribby.

Duchess read the letter and wrote an answer:--"I will come with much
pleasure at a quarter past four. But it is very strange. _I_ was just
going to invite you to come here, to supper, my dear Ribby, to eat
something _most delicious_.

"I will come very punctually, my dear Ribby," wrote Duchess; and then
at the end she added--"I hope it isn't mouse?"

[Illustration: THE INVITATION]

And then she thought that did not look quite polite; so she scratched
out "isn't mouse" and changed it to "I hope it will be fine," and
she gave her letter to the postman.

But she thought a great deal about Ribby's pie, and she read Ribby's
letter over and over again.

"I am dreadfully afraid it _will_ be mouse!" said Duchess to
herself--"I really couldn't, _couldn't_ eat mouse pie. And I shall have
to eat it, because it is a party. And _my_ pie was going to be veal
and ham. A pink and white pie-dish! and so is mine; just like Ribby's
dishes; they were both bought at Tabitha Twitchit's."

Duchess went into her larder and took the pie off a shelf and looked
at it.

[Illustration]

"It is all ready to put into the oven. Such lovely pie-crust; and I
put in a little tin patty-pan to hold up the crust; and I made a hole
in the middle with a fork to let out the steam--Oh I do wish I could
eat my own pie, instead of a pie made of mouse!"

Duchess considered and considered and read Ribby's letter again--

"A pink and white pie-dish--and _you_ shall eat it _all_. 'You' means
me--then Ribby is not going to even taste the pie herself? A pink and
white pie-dish! Ribby is sure to go out to buy the muffins.... Oh what
a good idea! Why shouldn't I rush along and put my pie into Ribby's
oven when Ribby isn't there?"

[Illustration]

Duchess was quite delighted with her own cleverness!

Ribby in the meantime had received Duchess's answer, and as soon as
she was sure that the little dog could come--she popped _her_ pie into
the oven. There were two ovens, one above the other; some other knobs
and handles were only ornamental and not intended to open. Ribby put
the pie into the lower oven; the door was very stiff.

"The top oven bakes too quickly," said Ribby to herself. "It is a pie
of the most delicate and tender mouse minced up with bacon. And I have
taken out all the bones; because Duchess did nearly choke herself with
a fish-bone last time I gave a party. She eats a little fast--rather
big mouthfuls. But a most genteel and elegant little dog; infinitely
superior company to Cousin Tabitha Twitchit."

[Illustration: THE PIE MADE OF MOUSE]

Ribby put on some coal and swept up the hearth. Then she went out
with a can to the well, for water to fill up the kettle.

Then she began to set the room in order, for it was the sitting-room
as well as the kitchen. She shook the mats out at the front-door and
put them straight; the hearthrug was a rabbit-skin. She dusted the
clock and the ornaments on the mantelpiece, and she polished and
rubbed the tables and chairs.

Then she spread a very clean white table-cloth, and set out her best
china tea-set, which she took out of a wall-cupboard near the
fireplace. The tea-cups were white with a pattern of pink roses; and
the dinner-plates were white and blue.

[Illustration]

When Ribby had laid the table she took a jug and a blue and white
dish, and went out down the field to the farm, to fetch milk and
butter.

When she came back, she peeped into the bottom oven; the pie looked
very comfortable.

Ribby put on her shawl and bonnet and went out again with a basket, to
the village shop to buy a packet of tea, a pound of lump sugar, and a
pot of marmalade.

And just at the same time, Duchess came out of _her_ house, at the
other end of the village.

[Illustration: THE VEAL AND HAM PIE]

Ribby met Duchess half-way down the street, also carrying a basket,
covered with a cloth. They only bowed to one another; they
did not speak, because they were going to have a party.

As soon as Duchess had got round the corner out of sight--she simply
ran! Straight away to Ribby's house!

[Illustration]

Ribby went into the shop and bought what she required, and came out,
after a pleasant gossip with Cousin Tabitha Twitchit.

[Illustration]

Cousin Tabitha was disdainful afterwards in conversation--

"A little _dog_ indeed! Just as if there were no CATS in Sawrey!
And a _pie_ for afternoon tea! The very idea!" said Cousin Tabitha
Twitchit.

Ribby went on to Timothy Baker's and bought the muffins. Then she went
home.

There seemed to be a sort of scuffling noise in the back passage, as
she was coming in at the front door.

"I trust that is not that Pie: the spoons are locked up, however,"
said Ribby.

But there was nobody there. Ribby opened the bottom oven door with
some difficulty, and turned the pie. There began to be a pleasing
smell of baked mouse!

[Illustration: WHERE IS THE PIE MADE OF MOUSE?]

Duchess in the meantime, had slipped out at the back door.

"It is a very odd thing that Ribby's pie was _not_ in the oven when I
put mine in! And I can't find it anywhere; I have looked all over the
house. I put _my_ pie into a nice hot oven at the top. I could not
turn any of the other handles; I think that they are all shams," said
Duchess, "but I wish I could have removed the pie made of mouse! I
cannot think what she has done with it? I heard Ribby coming and I had
to run out by the back door!"

[Illustration]

Duchess went home and brushed her beautiful black coat; and then she
picked a bunch of flowers in her garden as a present for Ribby; and
passed the time until the clock struck four.

Ribby--having assured herself by careful search that there was really
no one hiding in the cupboard or in the larder--went upstairs to
change her dress.

She put on a lilac silk gown, for the party, and an embroidered muslin
apron and tippet.

"It is very strange," said Ribby, "I did not _think_ I left that
drawer pulled out; has somebody been trying on my mittens?"

She came downstairs again, and made the tea, and put the teapot on the
hob. She peeped again into the _bottom_ oven, the pie had become a
lovely brown, and it was steaming hot.

[Illustration: READY FOR THE PARTY]

She sat down before the fire to wait for the little dog. "I am glad I
used the _bottom_ oven," said Ribby, "the top one would certainly have
been very much too hot. I wonder why that cupboard door was open? Can
there really have been someone in the house?"

Very punctually at four o'clock, Duchess started to go to the party.
She ran so fast through the village that she was too early, and she
had to wait a little while in the lane that leads down to Ribby's
house.

"I wonder if Ribby has taken _my_ pie out of the oven yet?" said
Duchess, "and whatever can have become of the other pie made of
mouse?"

[Illustration]

At a quarter past four to the minute, there came a most genteel little
tap-tappity. "Is Mrs. Ribston at home?" inquired Duchess in the porch.

"Come in! and how do you do, my dear Duchess?" cried Ribby. "I hope I
see you well?"

"Quite well, I thank you, and how do _you_ do, my dear Ribby?" said
Duchess. "I've brought you some flowers; what a delicious smell of
pie!"

[Illustration: DUCHESS IN THE PORCH]

"Oh, what lovely flowers! Yes, it is mouse and bacon!"

"Do not talk about food, my dear Ribby," said Duchess; "what a lovely
white tea-cloth!... Is it done to a turn? Is it still in the oven?"

"I think it wants another five minutes," said Ribby. "Just a shade
longer; I will pour out the tea, while we wait. Do you take sugar, my
dear Duchess?"

"Oh yes, please! my dear Ribby; and may I have a lump upon my nose?"

"With pleasure, my dear Duchess; how beautifully you beg! Oh, how
sweetly pretty!"

[Illustration]

Duchess sat up with the sugar on her nose and sniffed--

"How good that pie smells! I do love veal and ham--I mean to say mouse
and bacon--"

[Illustration]

She dropped the sugar in confusion, and had to go hunting under the
tea-table, so did not see which oven Ribby opened in order to get out
the pie.

Ribby set the pie upon the table; there was a very savoury smell.

Duchess came out from under the table-cloth munching sugar, and sat
up on a chair.

"I will first cut the pie for you; I am going to have muffin and
marmalade," said Ribby.

"Do you really prefer muffin? Mind the patty-pan!"

[Illustration]

"I beg your pardon?" said Ribby.

"May I pass you the marmalade?" said Duchess hurriedly.

The pie proved extremely toothsome, and the muffins light and hot.
They disappeared rapidly, especially the pie!

"I think"--(thought the Duchess to herself)--"I _think_ it would be
wiser if I helped myself to pie; though Ribby did not seem to notice
anything when she was cutting it. What very small fine pieces it has
cooked into! I did not remember that I had minced it up so fine; I
suppose this is a quicker oven than my own."

[Illustration]

"How fast Duchess is eating!" thought Ribby to herself, as she
buttered her fifth muffin.

[Illustration]

The pie-dish was emptying rapidly! Duchess had had four helps already,
and was fumbling with the spoon. "A little more bacon, my dear
Duchess?" said Ribby.

"Thank you, my dear Ribby; I was only feeling for the patty-pan."

[Illustration: WHERE IS THE PATTY-PAN?]

"The patty-pan? my dear Duchess?"

"The patty-pan that held up the pie-crust," said Duchess, blushing
under her black coat.

"Oh, I didn't put one in, my dear Duchess," said Ribby; "I don't think
that it is necessary in pies made of mouse."

Duchess fumbled with the spoon--"I can't find it!" she said anxiously.

"There isn't a patty-pan," said Ribby, looking perplexed.

"Yes, indeed, my dear Ribby; where can it have gone to?" said
Duchess.

[Illustration]

"There most certainly is not one, my dear Duchess. I disapprove of tin
articles in puddings and pies. It is most undesirable--(especially
when people swallow in lumps!)" she added in a lower voice.

Duchess looked very much alarmed, and continued to scoop the inside
of the pie-dish.

"My Great-aunt Squintina (grandmother of Cousin Tabitha
Twitchit)--died of a thimble in a Christmas plum-pudding. _I_ never
put any article of metal in _my_ puddings or pies."

Duchess looked aghast, and tilted up the pie-dish.

"I have only four patty-pans, and they are all in the cupboard."

Duchess set up a howl.

"I shall die! I shall die! I have swallowed a patty-pan! Oh, my dear
Ribby, I do feel so ill!"

"It is impossible, my dear Duchess; there was not a patty-pan."

Duchess moaned and whined and rocked herself about.

"Oh I feel so dreadful, I have swallowed a patty-pan!"

"There was _nothing_ in the pie," said Ribby severely.

"Yes there _was_, my dear Ribby, I am sure I have swallowed it!"

"Let me prop you up with a pillow, my dear Duchess; where do you think
you feel it?"

"Oh I do feel so ill _all over_ me, my dear Ribby; I have swallowed a
large tin patty-pan with a sharp scalloped edge!"

[Illustration]

"Shall I run for the doctor? I will just lock up the spoons!"

"Oh yes, yes! fetch Dr. Maggotty, my dear Ribby: he is a Pie himself,
he will certainly understand."

Ribby settled Duchess in an armchair before the fire, and went out and
hurried to the village to look for the doctor.

She found him at the smithy.

He was occupied in putting rusty nails into a bottle of ink, which he
had obtained at the post office.

"Gammon? ha! HA!" said he, with his head on one side.

Ribby explained that her guest had swallowed a patty-pan.

"Spinach? ha! HA!" said he, and accompanied her with alacrity.

[Illustration: DR. MAGGOTTY'S MIXTURE]

He hopped so fast that Ribby had to run. It was most conspicuous. All
the village could see that Ribby was fetching the doctor.

"I _knew_ they would over-eat themselves!" said Cousin Tabitha
Twitchit.

[Illustration]

But while Ribby had been hunting for the doctor--a curious thing had
happened to Duchess, who had been left by herself, sitting before the
fire, sighing and groaning and feeling very unhappy.

"How _could_ I have swallowed it! such a large thing as a patty-pan!"

She got up and went to the table, and felt inside the pie-dish again
with a spoon.

"No; there is no patty-pan, and I put one in; and nobody has eaten pie
except me, so I must have swallowed it!"

[Illustration]

She sat down again, and stared mournfully at the grate. The fire
crackled and danced, and something sizz-z-zled!

Duchess started! She opened the door of the _top_ oven; out came a
rich steamy flavour of veal and ham, and there stood a fine brown
pie,--and through a hole in the top of the pie-crust there was a
glimpse of a little tin patty-pan!

Duchess drew a long breath--

"Then I must have been eating MOUSE!... No wonder I feel ill.... But
perhaps I should feel worse if I had really swallowed a patty-pan!"
Duchess reflected--"What a very awkward thing to have to explain to
Ribby! I think I will put _my_ pie in the back-yard and say nothing
about it. When I go home, I will run round and take it away." She put
it outside the back-door, and sat down again by the fire, and shut her
eyes; when Ribby arrived with the doctor, she seemed fast asleep.

[Illustration]

"Gammon, ha, HA?" said the doctor.

"I am feeling very much better," said Duchess, waking up with a jump.

"I am truly glad to hear it! He has brought you a pill, my dear
Duchess!"

"I think I should feel _quite_ well if he only felt my pulse," said
Duchess, backing away from the magpie, who sidled up with something in
his beak.

"It is only a bread pill, you had much better take it; drink a little
milk, my dear Duchess!"

"Gammon? Gammon?" said the doctor, while Duchess coughed and choked.

"Don't say that again!" said Ribby, losing her temper--"Here, take
this bread and jam, and get out into the yard!"

[Illustration]

"Gammon and Spinach! ha ha HA!" shouted Dr. Maggotty triumphantly
outside the back door.

"I am feeling very much better my dear Ribby," said Duchess. "Do you
not think that I had better go home before it gets dark?"

"Perhaps it might be wise, my dear Duchess. I will lend you a nice
warm shawl, and you shall take my arm."

"I would not trouble you for worlds; I feel wonderfully better. One
pill of Dr. Maggotty--"

"Indeed it is most admirable, if it has cured you of a patty-pan! I
will call directly after breakfast to ask how you have slept."

Ribby and Duchess said goodbye affectionately, and Duchess started
home. Half-way up the lane she stopped and looked back; Ribby had gone
in and shut her door. Duchess slipped through the fence, and ran round
to the back of Ribby's house, and peeped into the yard.

Upon the roof of the pig-stye sat Dr. Maggotty and three jackdaws. The
jackdaws were eating pie-crust, and the magpie was drinking gravy out
of a patty-pan.

"Gammon, ha, HA!" he shouted when he saw Duchess's little black nose
peeping round the corner.

Duchess ran home feeling uncommonly silly!

When Ribby came out for a pailful of water to wash up the tea-things,
she found a pink and white pie-dish lying smashed in the
middle of the yard. The patty-pan was under the pump, where Dr.
Maggotty had considerately left it.

[Illustration: SO THERE REALLY _WAS_ A PATTY-PAN]

Ribby stared with amazement--"Did you ever see the like! so there
really _was_ a patty-pan?... But _my_ patty-pans are all in the
kitchen cupboard. Well I never did!... Next time I want to give a
party--I will invite Cousin Tabitha Twitchit!"

[Illustration]







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